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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Some British bumbling charm with Mark!

Hi Guys,

I’m Mark Jackman, and I have recently had my debut novel, The Great Right Hope, released by LL-Publications.

Firstly, thanks to Tami for letting me run free on You Gotta Read Blogspot. You are all lined up for a double-whammy of British bumbling charm as you have got me today, and tomorrow Tony McGuin, author of the hilarious Ordinary World, also published by LL-Publications, will be completing the double act. We aren’t really a double-act, as such, although there was one time, but we were drunk, young and in need of the money.

I’ll tell you a bit about myself before plugging my book. It would be rude not to.

I’ll be twenty-nine on Friday (24th), so if anyone wants to send me a present, please don’t hesitate. Thoughtful gifts are good, but hard cash is better. As you already know I’m British, English to be precise. I was born in Great Yarmouth, a tacky little seaside town, but now live in Loughborough, which is a longbow away from Robin Hood country. I am a research scientist (analytical chemistry), by trade, and I’m hoping to make it as a writer as the science doesn’t always go well for me. So far, I have stabbed myself in the chest with a syringe full of drugs, set fire to the lab and splashed concentrated acid on my face. I am not a self-harmer; I’m just not very good at science. For more interesting factoids about me, check out my website: http://www.mark-jackman.com/MJ/biography.php

So why did I start writing? I was twenty-four with no commitments and was playing too much Playstation. I decided to do something more constructive with my time and it was a flip of a coin between writing and bullfighting. After losing both testicles in the nastiest goring that southern Spain has ever seen, I decided that writing was a better option.

And I really enjoyed it, and I kept doing it. Before I knew it, The Great Right Hope was finished! Which leads me nicely on to my plug:

The Great Right Hope is the tale of Sid Tillsley, a forty-six year old disability benefit-fraudster, from the north of England, and one thing sets him apart from his northern brethren. Yes, he's an overweight alcoholic, and he's also sexist, homophobic and a lazy git... but what makes him different is that he can kill vampires with a single punch.

Now, as you can imagine, killing a vampire with a big right hand is pretty amazing. After all, the undead are big, tough guys who can regenerate and stuff, and if anyone could kill them, the first time Dracula tried to break into a virgin’s bedroom, he would have been maced by the safety-conscious lady, tasered, arrested, sent to prison and turned into Big Dave’s bitch. So, when Sid kills a vampire, the whole vampire world is thrown into a state of shock.

In the north of England, another monster has arisen, and one who doesn't subscribe to 'Tits' magazine. A vampire beast is stalking the Yorkshire moors, mutilating and destroying everything in its path. The vampire elders realise that the Firmamentum has cast its shadow on the world once more. A phenomenon, which happens every few millennia, where a human and a vampire are born ultimately powerful and destined to oppose each other. If Sid doesn't face the vampire monster, it will jeopardise the relative peace between the species and full-blown war will be inevitable.

That's all well and good, but Sid just wants to get drunk down the pub with his mates, and, maybe, just maybe, end his two year drought with the ladies. Besides, Sid has more important things to worry about... the Social Security Disability Benefit Fraud investigators are on to him, and, if they see him fighting, they'll realise that he has been illegally claiming disability benefit for his bad back and dodgy heart.

That’s The Great Right Hope in a nutshell. There’s more on my website http://www.mark-jackman.com/GRH/GRH_main.php which has some articles and interviews on there, too. There’s also a free short story kicking around, Viva La Vampire, a spin-off from the book http://www.mark-jackman.com/GRH/GRH_viva.php

I am now on the promotional bandwagon! I have started one unusual promo technique... A picture speak thousand words, or so I have been told. I have no idea how many words a video of grown men, prancing around singing songs about slightly odd sexual acts would speak. I’ll let you decide. Mark-jackman.com proudly presents the fattest, oldest and most talentless boyband in western society: FIVE INCHES OF STEEL! http://www.youtube.com/user/TheGreatRightHope Please drop a rating or a comment.

I am now a Blogger for those who are interested in such things: http://mark-jackman.com/blog/ I intend to write about anything that catches my eye. So far, I have covered subjects such as Elvis’s miraculous ability to perform after eating cheeseburgers, the death of all books, why all modern day heroes are crap and why no-one interesting ever knocks on my door anymore. Come pay me a visit if you’re bored, or you have ever wondered how the King could perform after eating so many burgers. Oh, and I am always open to guest blogging appearances, like this one. If you want me, I’m yours!

So that is me and my work! Thanks for stopping by, and thanks once again to Tami. I’d love to hear from any writers/readers/non-violent stalkers out there, so please drop me a mail if you want to say hello, jackhammer@mark-jackman.com

The Great Right Hope is available to download direct from www.ll-publications.com.

12 comments:

Francesca Prescott said...

Hey Mr. Mark! Very funny entry, very funny blog, too! I live in Switzerland, and used to spend every weekend in Verbier, so I can totally picture you on the slopes, in the Farm club, etc, etc... Oh dear, oh dear!

Your book sounds like fun. Hope to see you around :)

xx Francesca
www.francescaprescott.com

lastnerve said...

well, you stated you only want non-violent stalkers so I guess Tami and I are out of the picture! Excellent blog today. Very funny! You always bring a smile to my face when I read what you write. You are so crazy, stay that way!

Val

Mark Jackman said...

Francesca, Switzerland was amazing. My first ever run on a mountain was the blue on the top of the Medran. I just assumed that skiing was easy... oh well. I'm booked up for next year in Italy, so will hopefully improve. My only goal is to go a week with my pants in tact.

Cheers Val, much appreciated.

Bryn Colvin said...

Nice one, didn't realise you were a fellow Brit!

Zetta Brown said...

Funny as usual, Mr. Loony Tunes! LOL

Yeah, I'm going to have you and Tony start by my Sistah in Scotland blog, fer sure, dude ;D

Paul said...

Sounds like I'm going to have to get a copy of this book, that Sid Tillsley sounds like a right character!

Just read the blog, loved it - keep them coming!

Mark Jackman said...

Hey Bryn, aye, a Brit, we're coming out in force. Tony McGuin is on tomorrow. He's one funny bloke! Checked out your profile and now I really want to watch Labyrinth!

Thanks Zetta, appreciate the invite.

Champion, Paul. Sid's certainly a character, but some of his mates are just as bad. Check out this short story about Sid's best mate, Brian Garforth.

Viva La Vampire: http://www.mark-jackman.com/GRH/GRH_viva.php

When a northern man goes on holdiay to the Costa del Sol and nails a vampire's woman, there's gonna be trouble... for the vampire.

Cheers for all the comments, guys!

Captivatex said...

Hey Mark, getting around I see, and spreading the Brit humour about! Don't forget our Official LL-Publications Blog starts on Friday. When you get from Latvia - providing you sober up or don't get kept in the country - drop me a line. I may have an idea for you and Tony on the blog!

Jim Brown
http://www.ll-publications.com
http://www.logical-lust.com
SWING! 24TH April - THE anthology of the year!
http://www.logical-lust.com/swing.html

Mark Jackman said...

Jim,

I think the best thing for us to do is not plan anything past this dangerous Latvian stag do. If I make it back, we can talk.

Check this out. Re: lap dancing clubs.

"Especially avoid the “Private Shows”! It is very typical for the ladies to try to talk you into a private room for a “special show.” Most often you will get nothing “special” but it is quite common for the girl to set an open bottle of champagne on the table as part of the “party”. Only later do you find out that you are being charged as much as 1000 LVL for the bottle!!!! This is very common practice in Latvia unfortunately. If you refuse to pay the strip club will call the police who will force you to pay. Do not expect the police to help you in Latvia! They quite often have a mutually beneficial deal with the stripclubs and they will be happy to beat you up to get you to pay the 1000 Ls bill!!!"


Not that I plan to visit any... Just for, you know, research.

Von said...

Mark we will celebrate your hatching date by popping, locking and dropping it on Friday. Might even start today...I will have a fake identity on stand by for you...just in case......VON
:)

BlessedBrian said...

Hey Mark,

I have bought the book - will there eventually be a paper copy? It deserves it!

Keep up the authoring!

Blessed Brian

kissastarling said...

Great blog! One day I'll meet one of you Brits! (I can't wait!)


Kissa