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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Worst Date EVER!

I’m thrilled to be back guest blogging at You Gotta Read Review. Thanks for having me today. You ladies rock. I love this blog!

So my girlfriends and I got together this past weekend, catching up, reminiscing about this and that. Somehow or other the subject of worst dates came up…and we laughed so much my stomach hurt. I’ve had my fair share over the years, but one in particular stands out, earning the title of “Worst Date.”

After I graduated from high school, I attended business school. To earn money, I worked at Fish&Chips at night and on the weekends. Eat&Park was directly across the street and the manager would often wave at me. He and my manager would often exchange food as a trade off. One night he came over with a strawberry cream pie in exchange for some fish. I was working the cash register and the night was particularly slow. On his way out, he stopped to chat.

“How ya doin’?” he smiled. “Isn’t it about time we introduced ourselves? My name’s Darryl.”

“I’m Sharon,” I liked his smile. Then a car load of customers came in and we got busy

Over the next few weeks, the food trade off between the managers continued. If we weren’t busy, Darryl would strike up a conversation. One night, he asked me out.

“So…when’s your next night off? Would you like to go out, see a show maybe?”

A night out sounded good to me. Between school and work, my social life was fairly non-existent. So I jotted down my number and we made plans to go out the following weekend to a show.

Never seeing Darryl in anything other than his uniform, I had no idea how he dressed socially. His uniform was always clean, he had light brown hair streaked with blonde, brown eyes and a friendly smile. But when he showed up at my front door in a hot pink shirt, bright blue polyester pants and white shoes so shiny I could see my reflexion…I got the first clue Darryl was not going to be the dream date

It was a hot summer night--and as we drove downtown to the theater, Darryl informed me we would be getting in the show for free because he was friends with the manager. In exchange for an Eat&Park pie, we would get free tickets. A pattern began to form. Darryl then informed me he had a pie exchange with managers all over town and got in places for free.

So when we finally got downtown, Darryl proceeds to pull the notorious pie from his trunk. It never occurred to me on this hot summer night he would bring a cream pie, but sure enough, didn’t he reach down and pull out a saturated box from an overheated trunk and announce, “My friend just loves strawberry cream pie. He won’t even mind it’s a little melted.”

That was the understatement. As we walked to the theater, leaving puddles of melted strawberry cream pie all over the sidewalk, people shot us dirty looks, clucked their tongues and got out of the way. But Darryl didn’t seem to notice, sporting his dribbling cream pie with a big smile on his face. By the time we arrived at the ticket booth, flies were buzzing. Humiliated, I stood in the far background while he presented the disastrous meltdown of a pie to the manager. I really hoped I wouldn’t run into anyone I knew. My date stood out in the crowd like a neon light in his flamboyant wardrobe, his sticky buck skin shoes and the circling buzz of flies.

Once in the air conditioned theater, Darryl cleaned himself up. He was one of those people who had seen the movie and was only too happy to shout out what was about to happen. The couple in the row in front of us turned around—and not for the first time that evening—tongues were clucking. After the movie, I told Darryl to take me home as I had a headache…and it was no lie.

Instead, Darryl turned up a street near the theater and parked in front of a house with a patio party going on in full swing. He looked over and said, “Before I take you home, I just want you to meet my mom. There she is, right over there.”

I looked over at the brightly lit patio. Sure enough, Mom was waving, a big smile on her face. Sighing, I got out and Darryl proceeded to introduce me as his girlfriend to Mom and all his relatives…

They insisted I have a hamburger and a beverage. I lost count of how many relatives asked me how long Darryl and I were “going together.”

So on the way home, just when I thought the evening was at long last over, Darryl once more announces, “Just one more stop. You didn’t meet Dad yet.”

And just as I opened my mouth to protest, there we were…in a cemetery just up the street from Mom’s house. And to my shock and horror, he stopped the car smack dab in front of a tomb stone and announced, “Hey, Dad…this is Sharon…the girl I’ve been telling you about.”

Have a worst date? I’d love to hear it. Leave a comment and the best one will win a download of a cookbook by several Wild Rose authors.


**************

Sharon Donovan lives with her family in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has a certificate

from Bradford Business School and a certificate in medical transcription from the

Community College of Allegheny County. She was a legal secretary in the Family Division

of the Court of Common Pleas where she prepared cases for judges in Domestic Relations.

Due to diabetic retinopathy, she lost her vision several years ago.

Painting was her passion. Devastated when she could no longer paint, she took several

classes in creative writing and memoir workshops. And through the darkness, a new

dream resurrected for a brighter tomorrow. Motivated by new insight, instead of painting

pictures on canvas, Sharon paints her pictures with words.

Visit Sharon’s website:

www.sharonadonovan.com

Or her blog

http://sharondonovan.blogspot.com

Or email her at:

Sharonad@comcast.net


27 comments:

lastnerve said...

I so love this story, it makes me laugh so hard! You've become one of my favorite authors and I love your work. I can't say as I have had a worst date, when that happens, I let the amnesia take over. It's easier that way :)

Sharon Donovan said...

Thanks Val! I like that. Amnesia is a good fall back. Unfortunately, this one is sttuck in my brain for life. More like burned. I can never think of strawberry cream pie without getting a flashback of that now halarious date. LOL Even though it was far from funny back then.
Sharon

MarthaE said...

Hi Sharon - Great story! I can't really remember back to those days of dating...I do remember when I was 13 going out to a party with friends. When my "date" tried to neck with me I got scared... I didn't really date again until I was 16! The guy was really a nice guy but I barely spoke to him after that! I just wasn't ready for that stuff yet! I was a bit of a "goody two shoes"! I would hang out with guys in church and the school clubs but I wasn't into dating!

P.L. Parker said...

Worst date - oh gosh, there have been so many. I guess my strangest one (among the many) was the blind date and the guy showed up with his sister in tow because he was so nervous. We went to a restaurant (he picked) and he began griping about the price, his sister got embarrassed, I offered to pay for my own and it ended up the sister paid for my dinner. Omigawd. (I do love the strawberry pie)!

Patsy
P.L. Parker

Sharon Donovan said...

LOL Martha. I think we all struggle with those feelings at 13, so unsure of ourselves and what to do when placed in a compromising situation. Sounds like you took the necessary precautions to ward off those bad boys! Great story! Thanks for dropping by.
Sharon

Sharon Donovan said...

LOL Patsy. What could be worse than a nervous nerd for a date! You sound like me, too many to count or keep track of. But having sis tag along takes the cake. LOL or is it the pie? Thanks for the great story.
Sharon

Mitzi said...

Patsy,
At 61 and single for more than 25 years, I have to prioritize my worse dates. Maybe it was the blind date (through a personal ad) when we met for breakfast. I was 50 at the time and even though he told me he was "close" to my age, he looked as if he was in his 70s. He walked slower than I did and he wore white shoes (can't remember if he had a white belt, too) and the shoes looked very old - the toes were turned up. And the worse part of the entire date: he told me first that HE didn't want a second date with ME.
After all these years of dating, I have no ego left - good lessons for being a writer. Rejections (from agents, editors or men) don't hurt that much anymore.
Mitzi

Marianne Evans said...

Sharon, that's hilarious!!! Sad, but still hilarious. The shout-out to dad is absolutely priceless! You have my sympathies, and my laughter! Thanks for sharing your story! Great blog.

Sharon Donovan said...

That's pretty bad, Mitzi. Nothing worse than being rejected by the rejectee.
Sharon

Sharon Donovan said...

Glad you got such a kick out of it, Marianne! It was one of those things where I kept waiting to wake up from a bad dream...but never did. After that date, I had a serious phobia about meeting a guy's parents. Imagine that!
Sharon

Laurean Brooks said...

Sharon, I've laughed so hard my side hurts. Darryl does sound like Oscar in my book. I'll bet Val would agree. The whole personality fits.

I'd like to know how you nicely broke off with him. It sounded as if he was making future plans.

Teri Wilson, Romancing the pet lover's soul said...

So you married him, right Sharon??

LOL

Thanks for the pick-me-up. It had my laughing my head off!

Blessings, Teri

Teri Wilson ~ Romancing the pet lover's soul

www.teriwilson.net

Sharon Donovan said...

Hi Laurie. Now that you mention it, my unfortunate date and Oscar in your book have a lot in common. As far as cutting him loose, it wasn't easy given we worked in such close proximity. He continued the trade off with my manager and continued asking me out. If I saw him coming, I'd try to head for the back, but most days couldn't leave the register! I finally broke the news we had nothing in common. He demanded to know WHY! Then he started crying--right in front of the customers!
Sharon

Sharon Donovan said...

LOL Teri! If I did, I would be writing some serious paranormal by now. When I finally returned home safely that night, I kept thinking I'd dream about meeting Dad at the cemetery, seeing his hand come out of the grave! I was pretty shook up by the surreal and other worldly experience.
Sharon

ashleyludwig said...

Sharon - worst date. Um. Nothing so surreal as your *snort!* what a story!

My very first date comes to mind: a boy I had nothing in common with -- who within about an hour's time asked me the same question 8 different times.

Looking back, perhaps he was nervous?!? But at the time I literally thought he was the dumbest person on the face of the planet. NEVER did a hamburger -before or since - take quite that long to eat!

Great post!

~Ashley

Sharon Donovan said...

LOL Ashley. So you didn't give the nervous nerd a second chance? You heartbreaker you! So do you still get a flashback of him every time you choke down a burger? Great add to the comments!
Sharon

Hywela Lyn said...

Oh Sharon, that was hilarious, it would make a short story all of it's own - especially if you worked in the Dad's hand coming up out of the grave in the graveyard! I can see why it wasn't so funny at the time though. Most of my dates bad were just plain boring after than. Come to think of it, that's why they were bad!

Sharon Donovan said...

Hi Lyn. Come on now, surely you have a bad date in particular that's worth a laugh! But now that you mention it, perhaps I will do a little paranormal with Dad's hand. Could be the jump start to my new genre! LOL
Sharon

ashleyludwig said...

Sharon -- you know, that guilt seeps in now that I have two teenage nephews. Who KNEW how nervous those boys were?!

After thinking about it, I really think one of my worst dates was one that still gets me thinking, and will probably work its way into a WIP at some point.

I was out with a very handsome, very sexy biochemist (I know, right?) he was everything I'd always imagined wanting in a man. Smart, a little mysterious, able to discuss any subject at length from reading, to movies, to art...

And then, the subject of faith came up. He didn't even have a grain the size of a mustard seed. I did my best to share my heart, shared my faith. He just stared, and said "How can an intelligent, college educated woman have such a child-like faith in God?" He went on, discussing why God didn't exist and other hoo-hah. The way the door to his soul slammed in my face literally snapped my head back.

At that moment, I knew that he was not the guy for me. I suffered through the rest of the date. And no, I didn't see him again. I still pray for that guy... and am so thankful for my husband, for all his gruff charm. Even though he's never read a word I've written! LOL

~Ash

Sharon Donovan said...

Glad you came back, Ash. Funny thing about that guilt when it deals with someone we care about, huh? Unfortunately, that awkward stage builds character. Now about the sexy bio chemist. Hmmm. Even as I was reading it, his handsome facade crumbled around him like a ton of bricks. Big time. You know what they say about beauty being skin deep. How sad for him for having it all except for the thing that mattered the most. Faith. Wouldn't it be nice to know you left an impression on him though, causing him to change his evil ways. Good you met a caring man with a good heart. Now if we could just get hubby to read your books! LOL Thanks for coming back.
Sharon

Ashley Ludwig said...

Sharon - he's selling them to everyone at work. Sooner or later, he'll know the whole story by default! :)

Sharon Donovan said...

Is that through osmosis?

Pamela S Thibodeaux said...

None of my worst dates even come close....well maybe except for the one that the guy and I were so close (like brother and sister) we wrestled all night and the kiss was horrible - like kissing your brother - yuk!

Wonderfully funny post Sharon!
PamT

Sharon Donovan said...

Oh How funny Pam! Wrestling with your date. No wonder the kiss or the date didn't work out. So did you at least stay friends? Sounds like the big brother type who might keep an eye out for you? We can never have too many friends. LOL
Sharon

Sharon Donovan said...

I would like to thank Tami and Val for inviting me to blog with them. It's been great fun. Thanks ladies! And thanks to all for stopping by with worst date stories. I promised a download of a Wild Rose cookbook to one commenter. And the winner is....Mitzi. Congratulations, Mitzi!
Please contact me at:
sharonad@comcast.net
Until next time,
Cheers!
Sharon Donovan
Romantic Suspense with a Twist of Faith
www.sharonadonovan.com
http://sharondonovan.blogspot.com

Margaret Tanner said...

Hi Sharon,
You really made me laugh. I have had some shocking dates over the years, including a bloke who lost his teeth in a hamburger, but your date with Darryl would be hard to beat. Yuk
Cheers
Margaret

Sharon Donovan said...

Hi Margaret. Oh, how funny--a bloke losing his teeth in a burger! How did you keep a straight face? Or did you? Because I think that is such a close runner up to Mitzi's sogga, you will also win a download of the cookbook. I'll send it right along to you. Thanks for the story!

Sharon