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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Glamorous Life of a Writer -- Not!

At a recent writer’s workshop and book signing a lady commented that because I was a writer I must lead a very glamorous, exciting life—you know shades of Hollywood. She was virtually twittering—no not twittering as on Twitter, more like gushing with excitement.

Oh, if she only knew. Evidently she’s watched way too many television movies that extol the writer as lolling about in a flowing silk robe, lounging on a chaise while savoring chocolate dipped strawberries, sipping champagne, and dictating the next best seller to an overworked, underpaid secretary. Hah!

I really didn’t want to burst this poor lady’s bubble, nor do I wish to discourage any reader of this blog who aspires to be the next great NY Times best-selling author. But, alas and alack, my real life is boring. Honestly. My day is filled with many of the same activities as anyone else’s life. I still do laundry, cook dinner, balance the checkbook, and buy groceries. Okay, I see your eyes glazing over, so I’ll stop there.

I can’t speak for all authors, just me—I’m not glamorous. While some writers go down to the local coffee shop or library to write, I find those atmospheres to distracting, so I converted a spare bedroom into my office. Because my writing is done at home, my lifestyle revolves around pajamas, or over-sized, ultra-comfortable housecoats. Forget bedroom slippers. In the summer time, I prefer bare feet and in the winter, plain ole socks will do. Occasionally, I don jeans and a t-shirt. And make-up? Yeah, right! Who’s going to see me besides my computer screen?

The characters in my books lead far more interesting lives that my own. That’s why I write. In truth, I hate to travel. Don’t get me wrong. I love experiencing new adventures. It’s just that I dislike traffic, and would rather suffer through a pap smear than experience the rudeness of airport security. Now if I were Genie and could fold my arms and blink myself to exotic destinations or wiggle my nose like Samantha the witch, then I’d be happy to whisk myself off to destinations unknown.

In my writing life, the heroes never wail because supper isn’t ready or wants to know why he can’t find his socks (because he’s looking in the wrong drawer). The heroine never has to vacuum or mop floors, put gas in the car, or scrub the bathroom sinks and commode.

Truth is I love my life, unglamorous as it may be. Being a writer allows me, each and every day to visit new places, meet interesting people, face down outlaws, and reward my hero and heroine with their ultimate desires. It doesn’t get any better than that, right? Well, maybe the offer of a movie contract, with Ron Howard as the director and Benjamin Bratt or Brad Pitt playing the hero in one of my Westerns would (as Clint Eastwood would say,) Make my day!


Antonia said...

LOL I completely agree with you! I've got one book published, and two more with upcoming release dates but I still work my day job. My writing time is usually that 15 minutes between experiments of my lunch hour.

Loretta C. Rogers said...

Thanks for dropping by Antonia. Good luck with juggling life, job and writing.


Celia Yeary said...

Hi, Loretta--have you been peeking in the window where I sit at my computer? Your are me, I am you. I do try to put on a little lipstick because I still like to look enticing and yummy to my dh. (Not! as you say.) Anyway, every word you say is true--for me, for you, for most writers. thanks for the cute blog--it was fun, and good luck!!Celia

e_journeys said...

Nowadays I think airport security also performs pap smears...

I think writers need "boring" lives, because that way we can save the drama for our characters. It looks better on them. :-)

Great portrait of the reality behind the fiction!

Miss Mae said...

Loved this, Loretta, had some really good chuckles (especially about hubby looking in the wrong drawer...WHY do men do that???) LOL

You're so right, I'm so unglamorous, it ain't funny. Shirt and shorts right now, bare toes.

My h/h live the life I can only dream about! :)

Helen Hardt said...

Great post, Loretta! You're so right. And like Miss Mae, I'm sitting here in shorts and bare toes ;).

Christine Clemetson said...

Loretta, you have described my life as well! LOL. What a great post. Thanks for sharing.

Mary said...

Love your honesty in describing yourself. I think your bedroom office matches mine. Congrats on finishing your#1 new best seller.
Mary Schoenecker

Glynis said...

Oh what a lovely post.
I am sitting in my swimsuit in the shade. Chlorine hair and dry skin, I have to get my own drinks and someone landed 10 ton of cellulite around my thighs,while my back was turned.
I have bought a glamorous, 'I am a writer' style dress, complete with tassled hem, for my daughter's wedding next month. I might use a picture to fool my followers on my author blog. LOL

Loretta C. Rogers said...

I would like to thank everyone who took time from their busy writing schedule to read my article and post a comment. It's amazing how much we writers have in common.