Cate: Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to visit today, Dionysus.
Dion: Please, call me Dion. It’s my great pleasure to be here, Cate. I have all the time in the world, and am honored to be your guest.
Cate: Well, sure, as an immortal, time’s a luxury, but I know you’re busy with your vineyards… how many do you have?
Dion: My bookkeeper could tell you. I don’t annoy myself with such details. I’m more interested in how my wines pleasure people.
Cate: Hm, pleasure and sometimes… pain.
Dion: Shifting in his seat, taking a sip of water. People’s pain is mostly self-inflicted, wouldn’t you agree? Smiling, he sweeps his hand through the air. I encourage celebrations, feelings of joy.
Cate: There’s a dark side to that as well. According to my research, The God of the Vine can either be a friend or the cause of a person’s downfall.
Dion: Frowns. If nasty rumors are to be believed. His voice roils with echoing thunder. I refuse to perpetuate such nonsense. Lightning cracks in the sky. If someone drinks to excess, am I to be blamed?
Cate: I apologize if I’ve offended you. Let’s move on. I must say, you bear a striking resemblance to Antonio Banderas.
Dion: Resting his arms along the back of the sofa. Of course you mean he resembles me.
Cate: Blushing. True, since you pre-date him by centuries. Not that you look your age. My point is, you look fantastic.
Dion nods like a king.
Cate: So, Dion, tell me about the Maenads. They’re a very uh, interesting group of women.
Dion: Rolling his eyes. The Maenads. Yes, they’re lovely. And I’m truly grateful for their dedication, though they tend to go… overboard. In this new millennium, some of our old ways are no longer, shall we say, appropriate?
Cate: Such as feasting on human flesh?
Dion: An excellent example.
Cate: Mm, I can see that might be more than an embarrassment.
Dion: I have no shame about their loyalty to me. They live free, true to their own ideals, singing my praises, dancing in the forest.
Cate: An idyllic existence, certainly. But since you mentioned being in the new millennium… what of their own desires? What if they wanted to pursue a career?
Dion: Of course I’d support them. In fact, I’ll probably be needing a good lawyer, maybe more than one… So long as it doesn’t interfere with their Maenad duties. Smiles sweetly.
Cate: Way to be modern, Dion.
Dion: Frowns. You don’t approve?
Cate: Let’s move on. When you met Clio…
Dion: Ahhh, Clio. A beautiful woman. The epitome of womanhood.
Cate: So you don’t deny you had a thing for her?
Dion: A thing? Do you speak of my manhood? Because I would have loved to—
Cate: Blushing. No, no, I meant you had feelings for her. In fact, you tried to steal her from her husband Jon.
Dion: He was unworthy of her love. I could have given Clio anything she desired. Not to mention, she’d have me.
Cate: Well, I applaud your graciousness in allowing her return to Jon. Not many gods would have shown such grace. Or self-control.
Dion: Now that you mention it, I’ve been wanting to ask about a rewrite. If I could have a little more time with Clio in my bedroom, I know I could convince her to leave her pitiful husband. After all, I’m a god.
Cate: As anyone can plainly see. But of all the Greek gods, you stood out for your faithfulness to your mortal wife, Ariadne.
Dion: Sniffles, tears well in his eyes. I loved Ariadne with my heart and soul, and have been in anguish these past centuries without her. So when I saw Clio, I felt sure the Fates had purposely sent her to me to take Ariadne’s place. The Fates can be such a cruel tease.
Cate: I second that. So what are your plans now, Dion? Anyone else special you have your eye on?
Dion: Many women have responded to my tweets and Facebook status updates, offering themselves to me.
Cate: But you’re still holding out for Clio? Honestly, Dion, you have to move on.
Dion: Oh, no. I’ve bedded many of them. I do, however, still hold a special place in my heart for Clio, and always will. Now, if we could discuss that rewrite…
Cate: Sorry, Dion. The Lure of the Vine’s http://www.freyasbower.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=46&products_id=212 already published with Freya’s Bower. Rewrites aren’t an option at this point.
Dion: A sequel, then. Moving closer, he caresses her knee. Surely you can understand how important it is to me. His hand moves up her thigh.
Cate: Mm, you’re very persuasive, Dion.
Dion: Nibbles her ear. I can also fill your cellar with enough bottles of wine to last a lifetime.
Cate: I’d love for you to uh, fill my cellar. That’s all for now, folks. Thanks for stopping by, but we have to cut this short.
Dion: Murmurs, Oh, no. It won’t be short.
Cate: Oh! No, it certainly isn’t. Giggles. Bye, everyone! Shoos them away. Oh, before you go, take a moment to watch the trailer for The Lure of the Vine. But no peeking anywhere else…