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Monday, February 22, 2010
Welcome Guest Author E3
“Good Girls Make Guys Doze, But Those Naughty Ones Doth Curl Our Toes!”
Why do we guys marry nice girls, but have the fondest memories of the naughty ones?
I know I shouldn’t admit directly to that, but it’s the honest-to-God truth. Sin has once again stared me directly in the eyes, and I’ve blinked. Again.
It happened a little earlier today. I had to go to a business meeting, one of those mixer type deals where a bunch of companies send a bunch of people to drink a bunch of alcohol and talk. The Chamber of Commerce typically calls such gatherings “Business After Hours.” When I was a young man we called them parties, and saw them as excellent opportunities to drink liquor and eyeball women. Apparently my enlightened business cohorts still see them the same way, cause a lot of both things were going on at today‘s meeting.
When I arrived, I decided to sip on some mineral water and watch what transpired. Let me tell you, it was interesting. I saw a manager for a bank toss down three rum and cokes in about fifteen minutes, then spend a considerable amount of time trying to recall the words to the classic rock ’n’ roll tune, “My Ding-A-Ling.” He butchered the lyrics, but the ones he came up with were actually better than the song‘s original ones. When he began singing his version out loud, I figured it was time to case out another part of the room. I proceeded to slip over to the other side, and then “it” happened.
“It” was running into Sally Jean, a girl I knew when I was about nineteen or twenty, which means I last saw her around twenty-five years ago. Sally Jean has become a Marketing Director for a company in these parts, and has changed a great deal from when I last saw her. To be honest, I didn’t even recognize her, but she sure recognized me. She walked right up to me, said, “ED WILLIAMS” real loud, and then hugged me like a possessed woman. Everyone in our general vicinity looked over at us and stared.
Normally, that would’ve embarrassed me, but Sally was sexy as all get out, with her highly stylish dress and nicely quaffed hair, so my focus centered a lot more on how good that hug felt than it did any potential embarrassment I might be experiencing. After our hug, she pulled back and said, “It’s been such a long time, Ed.”
I know this is awful, but I just couldn’t remember her. I almost panicked, cause I knew if she picked up on that it’d probably rule out any chance I’d have of getting another hug before she left. Fortunately, she jogged my memory when she smiled and asked, “Got any Windex in your car?”
Then it hit me - Sally Jean Stewart, a girl I’d gone out with when I attended Gordon College back in the seventies! I’d taken Sally out on our first and only date over to a drive-in in Macon. Back then I’d keep a rag and some Windex in the trunk of my car to use to clean off the windshield before the movie started. Honestly, I didn’t go to drive-ins to watch the movies, but girls seemed to like it when I’d get out and swab off the windshield. Sally Jean was different - when I tried to get out and mop off the windshield for her, she whispered, “Ed honey, we both know we’re not gonna watch this movie.” And with that, we proceeded to fog up the inside of my car’s windows so thickly that an ice scraper couldn’t have cut through it. She was wild, and as the memory of that night passed through my mind, my smile grew larger and larger. I returned back to reality when Sally said,
“Ed, I can’t stay. I’m late for another meeting. Only one thing I regret, honey.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“That we didn’t get to go out again. I left school right after I met you cause I got married.”
“You got married right after we went out?”
“Yes. I was engaged and knew I shouldn’t see you, but you were cute, and I decided to forget what I should do and do what I wanted to do.”
She then gave me a kiss on the cheek, and left. I sure hated to see her go. And, as I finish typing out these words, those naughty girls seem to be occupying an even more hallowed place in my mind...
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